Today's Topic: New Beginnings
Today's Challenge: Limitations
"What are ONE area of your life where you've been limiting yourself or that you feel limited in?"
After giving this question some deep thought, I've realized that I have limited myself in many areas of life, ranging from school to the establishment of my own business. Looking back, most of my actions were subconscious; after years of believing that I wasn't as good or couldn't be as good I've always took the easy way out, in fear of being disappointed.
To be honest (especially to myself) I think one the root reasons behind my limitations depended heavily on my weight, being female, and being black. One moment in particular that I remember was when I auditioned for the Governor's School for the Arts in the 8th grade; at that point in my life I wasn't as confident and as strong as I am now. That day I auditioned for 3 departments, dance, music, and musical theatre. Auditioning for such a prestigious school was intimidating and I was nervous as nervous gets. Oddly enough, as intimidating as those auditions were, auditioning for the dance department was the one that created the most havoc in my life that day. I knew I was a great dancer, but not having a "ballerina figure" and being surrounded by mostly white females made my confidence level drop. Some of the dancers had as much experience as I did, yet I felt the least confident. When you look on T.V. or look at a magazine who do you see?(at that point in time I judged myself based on stereotypes and norms) Skinny white girls (no offense) and the black girls (there weren't many) that auditioned performed exceptionally. I knew from that moment on that I should just leave dancing alone. Even til this day I'm more confident and comfortable in my dance when I am alone, than performing. My "reason" is because I don't really feel "the dance" when in front of people , which is partially true. However, the other part is that I am afraid of messing up and not performing well. A huge problem of mine is that I expect the worse without even trying, not giving myself the benefit of the doubt has hindered me from doing so many great things in this life.
Since the task asked for something specific I will use this blog for example. I created this blog to share my life's journey in hope that it would inspire the world. Since creating this blog I have gone days where I haven't posted a single thing, I just "designed" the page (ex. adding widgets) . On record, I was "working" on my blog. Off record, I was procrastinating and making excuses to do it. Why? Because in the back of mind I already "knew" this would be one of those projects I start-and-stop; based off past experiences. Anytime, things get hard (this applies to mostly everything in my life) I'm ready to quit or make up excuses to avoid having to deal with it. Sadly, it's an easier way to refrain from disappointment. My fear of incompetence , whether it's being an incompetent swimmer, incompetent blogger, or incompetent entrepreneur, as taken precedence over my future, resulting in my fear of success.
What is the belief statement you've been harboring in this area?
- There are people better than me, so I shouldn't try at all.
- Because I didn't grow up being athletic, I will never be athletic.
- I want to be a great swimmer, but there aren't many black female swimmers.
- It's to hard I can't do it.
Change your beliefs
- Even though there are people better than me, that goes for everyone. There will always be someone better, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I will let others' success motivate me to work hard and to be the best I can be.
- I didn't grow up being super athletic, but not everyone does; there's nothing wrong with that. I will do the sport I love, practice often, ask for help when needed, until I gain the knowledge and skills I need to achieve the goal I want.
- Just because there aren't many black female swimmers doesn't mean there can't be. A hundred years ago do you think blacks and females were in the fields they are in today? I will be the change I want to be. If I want to be great then I will be great, no one will tell me who I can be. Sometimes I may be the only person where I want to go, I won't let that deter me.
- If I go through life with the " it's to hard" mentality I will never accomplish anything. It may be hard now, but the outcome will be greater in the end. The world doesn't owe me anything I must work for it and if I need help I will ask for it.
The actions steps I will take to make the change is
1. I will train harder
2. I will practice harder and not be afraid to fail; it comes with the territory
3. I will have belief in myself and God, he doesn't give me any challenge I can't handle; no pun intended.
4. I will recognize that I cannot run away when the going gets tough, I have to stick it out and not be afraid
5. I will talk less and act more
Deadline: Now until no longer needed
“Today is a brand new day.
My past does not define me.
My future is mine to create. "
Reflection: Being forced to voice my limiting beliefs has really helped me to get to know myself. I feel as this challenge continues I will get fully indulged into the challenge. Even though I still have doubts about myself, I know with the right mentality and repeating these affirmations to myself will help. The question for me is, even though I've completed Day 1 of the challenge why am I still in doubt? To be continued...