The Blogger <3
Why is it so bloody difficult for me to be a consistent blogger (I've been speaking Brit. lately, zero clue why)? Is it my laziness? Maybe my want isn't strong enough? Who the hell knows!!!! At this very moment, I'm sitting in the cafe attempting to understand this situation...nothing. I'm going to take a different approach. I think the real question at hand is why am I trying to be someone that I am not? I have read amazing blogs in my lifetime, some more than once, and internally I aspire to reach that level. To provide gratification in all the right places of the subconscious, as I have experienced on several different occasions.. However, bringing myself gratification from my own works seems nearly impossible !!!!! Arrggghhhhh!!! The AGOONNNYYYYYY!!!!! I guess all I can really do is give it my all, to the best of my ability. ***F.Y.I. MY brain is saying "Oh shut up with all that positive bull crap."*** The reality is that I'm different, you're different, we're all different. If we were all meant to be alike then the world wouldn't go 'round and 'round as it does lol. So... to all my beautiful, self-doubting, intelligent, child of GOD, potential to be great and more human beings STOP comparing yourself to your neighbor and concerning yourself with their blessings. Because, while you're occupied and invested in what someone else has received you'll pass by your own blessings that the man upstairs has blessed you with, and he'll give it to someone else more deserving. Understand that you're not meant to be like anyone else, but yourself. Because truth be told you can't fill the shoes of another. Just like they can't fill yours.
The Blogger <3
Today's Topic: Ability
Today's Challenge: Self-Limiting
Today is only Day 3 of the challenge and I'm starting to realize how subconsciously negative I really am, it's funny because I always considered myself an optimist. This challenge is extremely helpful in transforming my negative falsities in to positive realities, though a challenge (no pun intended) to keep them that way. Someone once told me, for every 1 negative you need 2 positives to compensate, that's how strong a simple negative thought or a few negative word/s can affect you.
Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently.
Change this self-limiting belief(s)
Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream.
“I can achieve anything I want,
as long as I set my heart to it.”
Today's challenge was a huge challenge for me. It became such a challenge I was reluctant to complete the rest of this post. Some of you may of saw my in-complete post and was wondering why I did that. I'm going to be straightforward with you guys, I really had zero faith in my ability to change my self-limiting beliefs, zero, zilch, none; so I stopped writing. I felt if I continued writing, I would write something I really didn't mean and that's not what I wanted. After, taking a day off I was able to gather my thoughts and produce the above result, I feel quite confident now.
Words from Celes:
"The truth is that you have all the power you need to achieve your goals and dreams, whether you believe it or not. The very fact that you have the ability to conjure up the goal/dream IN YOUR MIND is already the very evidence that you can realize it — otherwise, why would it even appear in your mind??? The universe allowed for this thought to manifest because it knows that you have the capability to MAKE IT HAPPEN. And in order to do that, you have to first get rid of those self-limiting thoughts, believe in yourself, and then take the subsequent steps to make it happen."
Top of the morning to ya!!! If you've read my previous post, you know today is the third day of the challenge. If you don't and you want to know more about the challenge I'm participating in, click on the awesome button below.
Hi everyone!!! If you already don't know, I am participating in the 15 Day Positive Affirmation Challenge hosted by Celestine Chua; writer and founder of Personal Excellence. Want to know more? Click the cool black button below!!
Before I begin today's challenge I really want to note that this is kind of difficult for me. I've always said I loved myself, but I'm not sure if I really meant it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a self-hater I just feel at times when I say "self I love you" it's more so words without meaning. I have struggled with self-love and self-esteem issues at different points in my life, especially when I was younger. I always thought I was less deserving of what I was blessed with, whether it was an opportunity to be in a play, attend an international program, or have the ability to do half-marathons; the list goes on. Even now, God has opened up so many doors for me and the only thing I can conjure up is "why?"
"Identify any self-hating thoughts you may have"
Identify the reason behind this self-hate.
I'm not really sure where my "self-hating" thoughts stemmed from, I think it's just a habit I became accustomed to throughout my life. There have been times where I criticized myself so harshly, I began to believe my own words. I think trying to fill that void of validation from others, in addition to wanting that approval; and not getting it played it's part.
Truth is, I was seeking validation from people without credentials and places without accreditation. Sadly, my falsified truths became the norm of my life.
Change your thoughts
Identify your action step(s) to love yourself today.
HUG YOURSELF."Like, REALLY hug yourself LIKE YOU’VE NEVER HUGGED ANYONE BEFORE. Feel every part of your body, your skin, and your soul, in your arms. Let go of your personal barriers, self-hate, and self-criticism — LET THEM GO, LET ALL OF THEM GO. Feel the warmth and LOVE emanating from your body back into your arms and body. Close your eyes, pause for about 15 seconds, and just soak in this moment of self-love."
"I love myself unconditionally."
Reflection: This post was extremely meaningful, thank you Celestine. For the first time in my life I felt love for myself, real genuine love.The kind of love you feel for your family, friend, or significant other, the kind of love that is protective, defensive, on-the-look-out for those trying to hurt the ones closes to you kind of love, is the love I felt for myself. Boy!!!! Does it feel good, amazing, breath-taking, rejuvenating, relieving, stress-free, unburdened, compassionate, just pure AHH!!!
This is what love should feel like and this is the love I want and I deserve. To be honest, while I was writing this post I began to feel conceded and self-absorbed because I was talking about myself. But, I've realized that saying I'm beautiful, smart, and talented is not being full of myself, but stating facts. It is true that I am all that I say I am because I am made in God's image. I'm going to tell a quick story then I'm going to hit the hay. One day it was asked of me to discuss all the work I've done in my organization this year, and boy did I do a lot. I walked to the podium said what I had to say and sat back down. It took me less than 3 min. to say what I did and not because I summed up the year in a few words. But, because I was uncomfortable talking about myself, I felt I was bragging or boasting. What's funny about the whole situation was when I told one of my former professors what happened. This is what she told me, she said " humble people don't have to act humble...I'm not saying you're not a humble person what I am saying is that when someone asks you what you have done, say what you've done because it is true." She was right, it was true, but I don't think at that time I had enough self-love to appreciate the good things I've done. Even, when people give me compliments or give me some form of "praise" I down play it, because to be honest it was difficult to believe. Good thing that's changing, it's about time.
Letter to myself:
I love you and I adore you. I promise to always cherish you with all of my heart and soul. You deserve the world and I'm going to give it to you on a silver platter. You're the love of my life forever and always. And I pray that one day someone will love you as much, maybe even more than I do. I love you sweetheart.
Today marks the beginning of my journey on the affirmation challenge. I'm having mix feelings about this, but I'm ready. My curiosity is ready to explore and uncover the hidden aspects of my life.
Today's Topic: New Beginnings
Today's Challenge: Limitations
"What are ONE area of your life where you've been limiting yourself or that you feel limited in?"
After giving this question some deep thought, I've realized that I have limited myself in many areas of life, ranging from school to the establishment of my own business. Looking back, most of my actions were subconscious; after years of believing that I wasn't as good or couldn't be as good I've always took the easy way out, in fear of being disappointed.
To be honest (especially to myself) I think one the root reasons behind my limitations depended heavily on my weight, being female, and being black. One moment in particular that I remember was when I auditioned for the Governor's School for the Arts in the 8th grade; at that point in my life I wasn't as confident and as strong as I am now. That day I auditioned for 3 departments, dance, music, and musical theatre. Auditioning for such a prestigious school was intimidating and I was nervous as nervous gets. Oddly enough, as intimidating as those auditions were, auditioning for the dance department was the one that created the most havoc in my life that day. I knew I was a great dancer, but not having a "ballerina figure" and being surrounded by mostly white females made my confidence level drop. Some of the dancers had as much experience as I did, yet I felt the least confident. When you look on T.V. or look at a magazine who do you see?(at that point in time I judged myself based on stereotypes and norms) Skinny white girls (no offense) and the black girls (there weren't many) that auditioned performed exceptionally. I knew from that moment on that I should just leave dancing alone. Even til this day I'm more confident and comfortable in my dance when I am alone, than performing. My "reason" is because I don't really feel "the dance" when in front of people , which is partially true. However, the other part is that I am afraid of messing up and not performing well. A huge problem of mine is that I expect the worse without even trying, not giving myself the benefit of the doubt has hindered me from doing so many great things in this life.
Since the task asked for something specific I will use this blog for example. I created this blog to share my life's journey in hope that it would inspire the world. Since creating this blog I have gone days where I haven't posted a single thing, I just "designed" the page (ex. adding widgets) . On record, I was "working" on my blog. Off record, I was procrastinating and making excuses to do it. Why? Because in the back of mind I already "knew" this would be one of those projects I start-and-stop; based off past experiences. Anytime, things get hard (this applies to mostly everything in my life) I'm ready to quit or make up excuses to avoid having to deal with it. Sadly, it's an easier way to refrain from disappointment. My fear of incompetence , whether it's being an incompetent swimmer, incompetent blogger, or incompetent entrepreneur, as taken precedence over my future, resulting in my fear of success.
What is the belief statement you've been harboring in this area?
Change your beliefs
The actions steps I will take to make the change is
1. I will train harder
2. I will practice harder and not be afraid to fail; it comes with the territory
3. I will have belief in myself and God, he doesn't give me any challenge I can't handle; no pun intended.
4. I will recognize that I cannot run away when the going gets tough, I have to stick it out and not be afraid
5. I will talk less and act more
Deadline: Now until no longer needed
“Today is a brand new day.
My past does not define me.
My future is mine to create. "
Reflection: Being forced to voice my limiting beliefs has really helped me to get to know myself. I feel as this challenge continues I will get fully indulged into the challenge. Even though I still have doubts about myself, I know with the right mentality and repeating these affirmations to myself will help. The question for me is, even though I've completed Day 1 of the challenge why am I still in doubt? To be continued...
Have you ever realized (depending on the person), that it's easier to disappoint ourselves, than it is others? Mind-boggling. I know. How is it so easy? Better yet, why? Why is it easy to let ourselves down? Why is it easy to say we will never accomplish anything in life? Is it because someone said we wouldn't? Did we fall short when given a task? There are a vast amount answers. Point is we are what we say we are. If we say we can't then we won't? If we say it's impossible, then it will be? We have to recognize the power of words, especially the one's we speak into our own lives. Hence the purpose of this challenge.
The 15 Day Positive Affirmation Challenge is built upon altering the direction of our future, by altering the words we speak. So, what is an affirmation, you ask? Great question.
According to yourdictionary.com ( the dictionary I thought explained it best): The act of confirming something to be true, or is a written or oral statement that confirms something is true.
My definition: The act of declaring or making known that something is true. Officially proclaiming we are all we can be. Speaking into existence.
Now do understand this challenge is not about saying a few positive words over here and doing a little something over there... and voila amazing successful life. If that's what you were expecting, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Celestine Chua says,
"problems can only be tackled through conscious self-reflection and direct action, not by saying affirmations only. However, where affirmations help is that they help us to re-image the future (especially if we are fixed on a particular way of thinking), reinforce positive beliefs, and remind us of who we can be."
I really want to emphasize that this challenge isn't something you just do to do, it's a real commitment, with real people who come together as a community to make a difference in their lives (self this is a memo for you) . I have been an off-and-on reader of PE for a while now and without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt I wholeheartedly believe in this challenge and in Celestine Chua; founder & writer of personalexcellence.co and host of this challenge. I will admit that I question my commitment to this challenge, especially since I always appear to begin and never finish the task at hand(not one of my greatest moments). However, I'm open to changing my course of action & accessing my full potential.
Follow me on my journey as I document my experience and thoughts during this challenge ( I will do my best to keep my postings up-to-date). If you want to join the challenge & no, it's not to late!!!
<<<<Go here> >>> http://personalexcellence.co/blog/affirmation-challenge/
Got questions? Just ask.
Face behind the blog
"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." ~Anonymous
One Voyager. One Life. One Era.
Follow me as I embark on the journey of my life. Walking uncharted territory and noting every minute of it.